One of Those Days
by Risa McDohl
Summary: So it’s Valentines Day. This means absolutely nothing to Phoenix, at least until a certain prosecutor stops by. Then things get awkward. Oh the cheese. Phoenix x Edgeworth shounen ai.


**Title:** One of Those Days (Part 1)

**Author:** Risa

**Pairing: ** Phoenix/Edgeworth

**Rated:** K+

**Disclaimer:** They would have totally gotten married at the end of the first game if it were mine, so it's pretty safe to assume that it's not. :P

**Word Count:** ~3,600

**Summary:** So it's Valentines Day. This means absolutely nothing to Phoenix, at least until a certain prosecutor stops by. Then things get awkward. Oh the cheese.

**A/N:** Urk, sometimes my muse baffles me. I mean, V-day, _really_. XD; I guess I'm going to be one of those that likes to torment and embarrass poor Edgeworth (who _isn't?_) Anyway, it's my first PW fic, and it's full of cheese, hopefully not too OOC. Up to you. Comments and con crit welcome.

* * *

Nothing was out of the ordinary in the world of Phoenix Wright as of late. He woke up with no messages on his phone, three bills in the mail, and a scruffy face in need of shaving. His life was so exciting he forgot to leap for joy. He also missed the bottom step walking down from his apartment and fell to his knees, cursing when his nearly empty wallet flipped out and opened to mock him. Yep, this was definitely going to be one of those days, for it was always one of those days in his decidedly exciting life. Oh joy.

He had enough money to buy himself a coffee and a bottle of maximum strength hair gel, which he promptly did every Tuesday. Just because he didn't have any clients didn't mean he couldn't be bothered to look his best. Looking in the mirror and seeing disappointment was no way to be, or so he justified.

After making his purchases he headed on over to Wright & CO. offices, where he would pay off more bills, sort files, and ignore whatever Maya was watching on the television. If he was in the mood he'd stop by the Kurain Village later and play ball with Pearls. He promised he'd come back again soon over a week ago. Children had very high standards for the meaning of "soon" and all. He hoped she wasn't lonely.

In any case, he could hear the television from his office door. Maya mentioned something about a Samurai movie marathon, so that must have been it. Hours of cheap sword slashing sound effects and corny catch phrases awaited him. He wished he could say he was used to it, but sometimes he wished she could watch something modest and quiet, like the home making network, or golf. She probably wouldn't take too kindly to those suggestions, though.

"Gooooood morning, Nick!" said Maya, averting her gaze just enough to give him a smile. Her attention peeled off just before he could greet her back, and he sighed. It wasn't as though she hadn't seen every action cartoon, show, and movie in existence. The one she was watching looked particularly bad. If that man polished his chest any more Phoenix would probably be able to see his reflection in it. The idea of seeing his reflection in another man's chest was a little, OK, VERY disturbing. Then there was the girl who was kind of pretty, but all she did was scream and cry. After awhile she and Mr. Shiny Chest started getting chummy, and an onslaught of some of the most horrific romantic phrases ensued. Phoenix was tempted to shout "Objection!" at the television, or drop dead, whichever came first.

Then a commercial came, and it was Phoenix's chance to gather whatever semblance of brain cells that hadn't died in him yet. He started by quirking an eyebrow at a teary-eyed Maya.

"What's with you, Nick? You look a little green."

He really wasn't sure if he should press the issue, but at the off chance it got her to watch something else—anything else—he'd give it a shot.

"Maya, what in the world are you watching?"

"Get with the program, Nick! It's Valentines Day. All the best romance specials are on."

Phoenix cringed, thinking that if what she was watching was supposed to be the _best_ then he'd really hate to see the _worst_. Yes, this was definitely going to be one of those days. He'd be safe if he just hid at his desk all day and didn't answer any phones. Yes, he'd be safe.

* * *

Tuesday February 14th down at the Prosecutor Offices normally meant very little. Witnesses weren't given as much as stale candy as tokens for their service, and any man thinking Franziska von Karma would be accepting their confessions got little more than a lash to the back and a high heel to the rear. Suffice to say, none have tried this year. That's not to say they weren't given lashings anyway. Whatever the circumstance a foolish fool was always a fool and deserved to have the foolery whipped out of them.

That was how Edgeworth spent the first half of his day, dealing with her bad mood. She was working on a particularly ugly case, and though it didn't fill her with quite as much rage as a case against Wright, she still wouldn't rest until things were perfect. After hearing her whip go for about the thousandth time he retreated into his office and completed whatever petty tasks were laid out before him. He spent his morning with Franziska to take his mind off of something that was looming over his head. Something he was foolish to even contemplate, and yet the opportunity was equally foolish to waste. In any case, the good prosecutor had work to do, and do it he did.

At one point Detective Gumshoe stopped by to assist him. He weeded through old files that the good detective retrieved from the top shelf for him. At one point an old photograph fell to the floor. Edgeworth was quick to swipe it off the ground, with a sinking suspicion that it was _that_ photograph. The one his father took of Wright and himself after they'd caught a fish together. It was really such a mundane and silly thing to keep, though he never had the will to dispose of it. Even now, with a trash can sitting right by his feet, he did find himself clutching this old photograph. How utterly asinine.

"What's that you got there, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"That's none of your concern, Detective!" Asinine though is seemed, it was also personal. He didn't recall how this ended up in such a place, but he knew one place where it wasn't going. Into the conscious awareness of others. His face boiled and he shoved the photograph into his vest. Being the good assistant that he was, Gumshoe made a wise decision and refrained from prying. There was perhaps an inkling of him that wished the good detective had pressed on, for these demons that he carried were no lightweights. Perhaps "demons" weren't the correct way of putting it. They were just more unnecessary feelings Wright plagued him with, ones that, tried as he might, refused to be shaken.

Hence the reason he had a personal mission and whether he liked it or not he was only driving himself insane by prolonging the inevitable. It was most prudent to do it on a day where this sort of nonsense was most expected, especially for a simple sort such as Wright. He predicted that Wright would not reciprocate these feelings and satisfied with some sort of answer Edgeworth could leave and put these inane emotions to rest once and for all.

"I will be away for two hours," said Edgeworth, his abrupt announcement throwing poor Gumshoe off balance so he fell rear first from the ladder. Edgeworth cringed, for that was the very reason he refused to set foot upon one of those infernal contraptions. "M-my apologies."

"Don't scare me like that, pal," he said, rubbing his sore back as he picked himself up off the ground.

* * *

Phoenix had come to the conclusion that it was definitely going to be one of _those_ days. He'd stubbed his toe against his desk after finding that he had stepped in some dog poop on the way to work. Maya's movies, if humanly possible, were getting even sappier and cheesier by the minute. The clock was ticking by too damn slow. Why did it feel like it should be eight PM at quarter-past-noon? He hadn't altered his sleep schedule in any way, nor had he nothing to do. There was, well, he could always dust the file cabinets. Perhaps he could borrow a vacuum from someone and drown out the sound of Maya's viewing nightmares? Or here's a crazy thought. It was Valentines Day. Perhaps he could find a date?

Thinking of all the women in his life, Phoenix progressively grew paler and paler. There was a reason why crazy thoughts were crazy.

Moving right along, he noticed that he was starting to get a little hungry. There were a few snack bars he hid in his desk, often being too busy, or cheap (mostly the latter) to bother with proper meals. Maya told him he ought to include more burgers in his diet, to which he just kind of shrugged off. He was more of a grilled chicken kind of guy, maybe grilled salmon.

OK, thinking about actual food was not making his peanut butter and sawdust bar taste any better. And his toe still hurt. He thought perhaps whatever Maya was watching would help distract him from his woes, but it only added to them. The girl on the screen was going on some epic spiel about how she can't live without her boyfriend Jacob, or whatever, and he just kind of pressed his forehead to his desk and groaned. Where was the Steel Samurai when you needed him?

Just as that passing thought made its course he got a buzz from the outside. A visitor? A client? Usually people didn't just show up unannounced, but any distraction from this less than glorious day was a welcome one. He was about to get up and answer the door when Maya hopped up and offered to do it herself, leaving Phoenix alone with a bunch of mundane car commercials and a pigeon whipping by his window.

* * *

Maya was a little stiff having spent her entire morning glued to the television. She had a secret soft spot for romance, which was often overlooked for her love of crime fighting Samurai and super heroes. Valentines Day had that affect on her sometimes; Nick just didn't understand, not that love was anywhere near the forefront of his mind. The only time he ever got passionate was in court tearing up witness testimonies, and challenging Mr. Edgeworth. If he continued to be that boring he'd never get a wife!

Speaking of Mr. Edgeworth, that was precisely who was on the other side of that door when she answered it. As usual he was dressed in his best, smelled like fresh tea and dry cleaning, and looked as stiff as a board, though Maya knew better. Despite being so grumpy-looking all of the time, Mr. Edgeworth was actually a very nice and special person to Nick, even though they were heated rivals. Maya's heart often skipped a beat whenever Edgeworth showed up, which was often right out of the blue.

"H-hello, Mr. Edgeworth," said Maya, standing aside so he could come in. He muttered a strained 'good afternoon' to which she nodded pleasantly. What in the world was he doing, though? She usually only saw Edgeworth whenever Nick had a case, so this was a little strange. The fact that it was Valentines Day grazed her thought process, but she didn't dare let that thought run any sort of course. There was just no way.

"I, err, brought you something," said Edgeworth, handing her a bag with a Styrofoam container in it. He was gazing intently away from her, toward the door of the office. "As I recall, you're fond of hamburgers."

"Thank you!!" said Maya, tearing open the container. Surely enough a large, juicy burger still warm and perfect greeted her line of vision. It was all she could do not to pig out, but with Edgeworth standing only so many feet away she was a little self-conscious. "You didn't have to."

"Think nothing of it." Edgeworth took a few steps toward the office door, then looked back toward Maya. "I'm assuming Wright is here. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like a few minutes alone with him."

"Sure," said Maya, thinking less about Edgeworth and more about her eager stomach, begging to be filled with beef. She was afraid that if she waited any longer she'd start drooling, and that was just embarrassing. Mr. Edgeworth sure knew how to treat a lady.

* * *

If time was at a crawl before, then it was at a complete stand-still the moment Edgeworth walked through the door. He usually associated Edgeworth's presence with some sort of trouble, though usually he was aware of whatever troubles he caused the prosecutor. This was completely unexpected. All appropriate words for the situation had vacated from his vocabulary, even the very mundane "hello."

Before he could get out so much as a peep Maya's little romance special was back on, and the man recited the cheesiest internal monologue of the century. The strained look on Edgeworth's face made it no better. Not wanting him to get the wrong idea, Phoenix grinned nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Err, Maya was watching that," he amended, though Edgeworth didn't really seem to care. His gaze was bouncing between Phoenix and the floor, and he cleared his throat a couple of times. If Phoenix didn't know any better he'd say that Edgeworth had some sort of embarrassing secret behind that disturbed scowl, though it was probably just the movie, or indigestion, or the movie giving him indigestion. Either way, the tension hanging in the air was becoming a bit too awkward for Phoenix's liking, so he offered Edgeworth a chair across from his desk and attempted small talk. Most of his blabbering was met with silence, and Edgeworth refused to sit.

"I cannot stay. I'm here on important business, Wright. Err, personal business, I should say," said Edgeworth, now looking anywhere but toward Phoenix. He slumped his head and started to sweat a little. Whatever this was probably wouldn't end well.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Mr. Edgeworth?" said Phoenix, still slumped and a little morose. His spine was beginning to tingle, and Edgeworth's very presence was making him, well, edgy. Whatever he had to say, it would be nice if he got around to saying it sometime this century. If Edgeworth's brand of drama were anymore unbearable he could have his own movie special alongside all of Maya's little gems.

After much consideration Edgeworth reached into his coat and pulled out a red, heart-shaped box. The very type of box Phoenix's gaze barely grazed while he shopped for hair gel that morning. It barely occurred to him that this wasn't just any old day from hell, it was Valentines Day. As a man who had never received a real valentine a day in his life, he didn't quite know what to make of this. He initially suspected this to be evidence in some murder case Edgeworth was working on, though a shiny box of candies that still had its plastic wrap and price tag made that a very dubitable theory.

"What's this?" said Phoenix, picking the box up and examining it. Clearly it was chocolate, a rather good brand of chocolate. Maya would probably be eating most of these. It was red, shiny, and wrapped in ribbons beneath the plastic wrap, which seemed just a bit excessive. Leave it to Edgeworth to go overboard. Speaking of which, why in the world would Edgeworth be giving him chocolate in the first place?

"It's called chocolate, Wright."

"Your faith in my deductive skills is overwhelming," said Phoenix, once again put off by Edgeworth's less than stellar attitude. He supposed that just came with the field. They wouldn't be doing their respective jobs if they weren't getting on each others' nerves constantly. "You got me. The real question is why?"

"Why what?" said Edgeworth, just a little too quickly. This was going to get interesting.

"Why me? I mean, why bring me this?" said Phoenix, his head swarming with all sorts of implications besides the obvious one. The pink in his cheeks would contemplate that one for him. Edgeworth, on the other hand, was like a wrought iron gate ready to swing shut at any moment. He didn't just _do_ anything for the sake of doing it. There was a reason, and so help him Phoenix was going to find out what it was.

"You're a clever man, Mr. Wright. You figure it out," said Edgeworth, and those gates did swing shut. Phoenix was tempted to pull Maya's Magatama out of his pocket, but before he could reach it the prosecutor was already at the door. He didn't murmur so much as a goodbye before slamming the door behind him. That slam echoed through his body for a good few moments until Maya returned, looking slightly downcast. He'd have a good word with Mr. Edgeworth if he found out the other man was giving his assistant a hard time.

"Nick, did you and Mr. Edgeworth get into a fight?" said Maya, approaching the desk. Phoenix was torn between snatching away the chocolates and hiding them, or crawling underneath the desk and hiding himself. In the end he did neither, in the vain hope that this day would magically disappear if he wanted it badly enough. Of course life just didn't work that way. "Well? What's going on?

"Is that a valentine??" said Maya, picking up the box of chocolates and eyeballing it thoroughly. "Wow! I bet these are tasty. What are you wanting for? Open them up."

"You can have them. I've lost my appetite," said Phoenix, not quite sure as to why he'd lost his appetite, aside from the massive rock that was in the pit of his stomach all of a sudden, not to mention he had never been more confused. Now when the very nature of your career depends on unraveling mysteries that's saying something.

"Don't be silly, Nick. They're yours, you should enjoy them." Maya pushed the box toward him and he just glared down at it as though it had fangs. "Mr. Edgeworth brought me a burger. I tried to give him my favorite Pink Princess card in return, but he told me I should save it."

"Why would you…" Phoenix stopped mid-sentence, deciding today was weird enough as it was. "Never mind. Enough about Edgeworth, OK?"

"Why? Don't tell me-" Maya's eyes bulged to the size of saucers. He thought he'd be scoping them off the floor for her for a second. "-you and Mr. Edgeworth aren't… "

"Of course not!" said Phoenix, his abruptness sending her flying backward a few steps. She raised her palms and chuckled nervously, and he scratched the back of his neck. Perhaps that was a little over-the-top, but he couldn't have her getting any ideas before he had this sorted out for himself. It just wouldn't be right. "I don't know what's going on in that head of his, to tell the truth."

"He likes you," said Maya, stated as though she were stating that the sky was blue, or that birds have feathers. It was all Phoenix could do not to tear every strand of his hair from his scalp. This was the very possibility he was trying to avoid, because it was just weird. Edgeworth? Edgeworth hated him, right? Most of the time it seemed so, then other times Phoenix would see something resembling a human being beneath that wall of ice. It was frustrating how he never knew quite what to make of Edgeworth, but now? _Like_ him? As in _that_ kind of like? That was opening up a whole new can of worms right there.

"Maya, that's… no! Do you even know what you're saying?"

"I'm saying Mr. Edgeworth has a crush on you," said Maya, as though it made all the sense in the world. Her matter-of-fact tone did nothing to alleviate Phoenix's nerves. "I don't know why I've never seen it before."

"That's because it wasn't there before, or now, or ever! Let's stop talking about this, OK?" said Phoenix, taking his chocolates and shoving them in the top drawer of his desk. Sometimes talking to Nick was about as useful as talking to a brick wall, and as farfetched as her idea seemed Maya knew that she was right. Maybe Nick would see it, too, if Mr. Edgeworth tried a little harder. Maybe he wouldn't accept her gifts, but maybe he would accept a little help getting through that thick skull of Nick's.

TBC

**A/N:** OK, so maybe my grasp of canon's a tad wonky. I've only played Ace Attorney and half of Justice For All. I thought I'd at least beat the latter before writing damn fanfiction, but if I didn't write this my muses wouldn't stop harassing me, so. Yeah. I hope you enjoyed the mush and the cheese. There's more where that came from!


End file.
